Seymour Cumming

Investigative-journalist at large Seymour Cumming is Chiang Mai's most controversial columnist. Love him or hate him, you can't ignore his sharp wit and savage pen as he gets to the bottom of life as a Chiang Mai ex-pat. This self-confessed lifestyler, sex-tourist and good for nothing gonzo reporter has previously been a used car salesman, fruit-picker, 'shock jock' and newsroom war correspondent. He has written for Farmer's Weekly, Nyet!, Chessworld and Cross-stitching Magazine.

Apparently he's currently working on a travel novel, but he's written the author's biog, and not progressed much beyond that. Meantime he's tried to teach English (and been fired), opened a restaurant that failed, threatened to start yet another tourist magazine in Chiang Mai, done the full moon thing on Koh Pha Ngan, butted heads with immigration officials, gone wife hunting in massage parlours and secretly harbours dreams of becoming a karaoke superstar.

His controversial commentary on ex-pat life in Thailand appears in Chiang Mai City Life Magazine. At least one letter of complaint a month is published about him, but he has quite a few fans too.

Note! This section of onestopchiangmai is not deemed family friendly, is considered politically incorrect, sometimes gets rather sexist and contains words like 'crikey', 'damn' and ' bleeding heck'.

Charge it to your visa Seymour takes on the immigration officials and comes off second best. More...

Life as a lifestyler in Chiang Mai Scraping the bottom of the barrel as a skint, down and out lifestyler intent on staying in Chiang Mai, with all income options exhausted! More...

Noises, bleeding noise Seymour discovers peace and quiet in Thailand is a rare commodity, it's enough to drive you balmy. More...

Living next door to Ah-reece Putting up with the noisy neighbours and karaoke machines in Chiang Mai. More...

Tongue Thai'd - the mai pen rai approach Learning how to get by with a tongue twister of a language, just say 'mai pen rai' (never mind)! More...

Speaking Tinglish A bazarre niew language is imerging in Chiang Mai, Seymour no have understandment. More...

Seymour's tourist magazine As if 12 English magazines in Chiang Mai aren't enough, Seymour decides to launch one of his own, but his will be a little off the wall. More...

Rich Dad, Poor Son With dad's connections and money, Seymour learns how to be an entrepreneur - Thai style. More...

Seymour buys a tuk tuk A hair brained scheme which sees our man joining the mafia-like songteaw taxi association and doing as he pleases on the roads. More...

Opening a restaurant Teaming up with a German partner, Seymour discovers frustration opening an oriental restaurant with occidental management. More...

Thai Monopoly A board game invented by Seymour where the objective is lose all your money! Selling like hotcakes among the expats. More...

Red hot chilli peppers Try stomaching a spicy Thai curry, Seymour finds his mouth on fire. More...

Wearing a Thai and suiting yourself A revealing first hand account of trying to find a wife in Thailand. More...

Softwear upgrade Seymour's buddy gets an accidental sex change and tangled up in a web of computer puns. More...

Thai bondage (double O that is) Ever wondered what James Bond movies would be like if they were Thai? More...

Balmy army Seymour dreams of joining the police force and making a fortune. More...

Ex-pat road rage Seymour takes his bike back to the temple for re-blessing after succumbing to the traffic calamity in Chiang Mai. More...

Vote Seymour With presidential campaigns in full swing, Seymour decides to run for the highest office in ex-pat land. More...

Being Hacked Being a magazine columnist is frustrating, Seymour discovers that editors are the worst hackers of the lot. More...